“how’s that for real?”

so we don’t talk for months. and i don’t hold that against you.
but you tell me that there are a lot of things we need to talk about.

and boy were there a lot.

i think i like you better like this.
i think i love you more now that i know.
i didn’t think that was possible, but it’s true.

it’s kind of hard to believe, but not hard to get used to.
because you’ve always been something like that to me… sort of.

you used to be my lucas.
now i guess you’re my will.

i like that. and i love you. 

ps: you’re addicting.

one year, 13 days. 8 months 15 days.

but who’s counting.
i don’t want to.

you saw me and i sure as hell saw you. you ran out of there so fast you left a body-shaped hole on the door.
i wanted to run. but the only think worse than staying there and seeing you, was you seeing me run away.
i want it to be known that i don’t care, about you at least.

you’re an idiot.  

or maybe.

i keep writing because i have things to say.
not in a journalistic kind of way, but in a there’s-so-much-left-to-say kind of way.

there is so much to talk about.
so much we have troubling believing in. 

i wonder if you’ll listen. if you’d pay attention.
because i hang on to every single word you say.
or at least i will, if you let me. 


i know.


well, at least you’re still in touch. sorta. maybe.
i wonder if you’re still the same person i knew back when thing were easier.
i do get tired of missing you though. i wonder if you think of me as much as i think of you. 
people DO change… but i can’t help hope that maybe at least when we’re together, it will feel like it did years ago.

where were you today?
i got a glimpse of you.
you looked good. as always.

God I miss you.