21 and invincible. can’t wait to screw this up.

it might have taken me 21 years to realize it, but now i know i’m glad my parents are over-protective. i blame it mostly on our culture, sometimes to stereotypes. but for the most part i’ve always hated it. or at least i thought i hated it. it’s not until recently when i heard a converstation:

Susan: …. And I… okay, I’m overstepping again, aren’t I?
Meredith: As mothers go, I’ve only ever known overbearing, never over-protective. This is all new. It’s okay.
Susan: It is?
Meredith: Yes. 

growing up sucks. we all know that. i’ve definitely made my feelings clear about that. it feels a lot like walking on a wire, without a net to catch me. it feels like i’m ready to free-fall anytime. it’s so easy to make mistakes, and there are no do-overs, or anything anyone can do. nobody can save me. it’s scary. i know i’m scared shitless. i’m 21. and as much as i want to be invincible (like andrew mcmahon is, from something corporate), i’m actually pretty vulnerable. i’m as fragile as any other girl who’s trying to figure out her life. well, i guess i’m not just any other girl. i’m luckier than most, because i have over-protective parents. it’s silly, but having that reassurance that someone’s protecting you, at least to the best of their ability, it makes everything doable, manageable. they probably don’t – and can’t – protect me as much as they used to. and i’m going to miss that.

it does sometimes feel like i’m on my own.


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