saving grace.

i meant to do this. because i know i almost always just blog about the bad things that happen. or the good things that DON’T happen. well what about those GREAT things that happen? they most definitely deserve to be remembered.

i don’t ever want to forget that feeling when i got that phone call from nursing school. like everything is finally falling into place. like all this waiting was worth it. like i was worth it. i was at hornbake plaza and i realized that they left me a message. my initial reaction was “oh shit.” this happened last semester, and they called me to say that i still needed more letters of recommendation etc etc. so naturally, i dreaded to call them back. and when i did, i did it while bracing myself. but hearing the ‘c’ sound in ‘congratulations’ made me lose it. i stopped dead in my tracks, ran my hand through my hair, and smiled in disbelief.

i can only accurately describe my reaction with this image:

i remember looking around, looking for a stranger to hug. i wanted to cry and laugh and scream and jump. i was shaking. it was honestly one of the happiest moments in my life.

it’s hard to remember the desperation i felt back in spring, that feeling of being lost and panic. life is good right now. i have things under control. but i know that trembling fear will be back. and for that reason, i need to be able to remember the good stuff. like when everyone was happy for me that my dreams are starting to become a reality. when i called my dad and he almost cried because he was so happy for me. i need to remember that life can be good, and that sometimes, people do get what they want and what they deserve.